NERVOUS

So it's the weekend before I go see the doctor and I'm nervous about it because I keep having this dream that the doctor refuses to let me have the surgery. I want this more than anything, I know I qualify for it, and I've taken all the necessary steps. My fears are probably unwarranted but they're still there. I talked to my friend Katherine the other day and told her how I was feeling and she said that she went through the same anxiety and that if she could get approved I would definitely get approved, so that made me feel a little better. I guess I'm just really anxious and ready to get this doctor's appointment out of the way to I can see the surgeon. Katherine has been my lifeline throughout this whole ordeal, she keeps me positive. She had her surgery done by the same surgeon so that also helps, since I'll be having this done in a German hospital she's been giving me information about the experience. I'll be in the hospital for 10 days after the surgery to make sure that my pouch is in good working order, I'm glad they're thorough, and while they are performing the gastric bypass they will also remove my gallbladder, it's very common for people who loose all that weight at once to have gallbladder problems so they go ahead and remove it during the surgery so I won't have to have another surgery to remove my gallbladder later down the road. 
  I've been eating pretty much everything I can get my hands on that I know I'll never be able to eat again lol, which is a little premature since I don't know if I'm approved yet, I guess I'm just doing a little wishful thinking and hopefully I'll be approved, or maybe I'm just trying to fatten up so I'll be more than 100 lbs over weight. I haven't weighed myself in a few weeks because I need batteries for my scale, but the last time I was weighed was at the doctor's office a few weeks ago and I weighed 230 lbs which put's me exactly 100 lbs over weight, I figure if I weigh more than that my chances are a little better. You can say that's stupid logic if you want but I just want to cover my bases I also had elevated blood pressure at my last doctor's visit so I figure I wont do my usually calming down technique before I get my blood pressure taking this time either and I'll have the high blood pressure thing on my side too, which I know I have elevated blood pressure anyway so really I'm not cheating there lol.

I got new glasses the other day so I thought I'd add a pic of me in my glasses, I'll have to get used to them, I haven't worn glasses in over a year.

WAITING ON MY APPOINTMENT

So I talked to a friend of mine today who has had the surgery, she had it done January 2010 she looks amazing and she hasn't had too many problems, the first month she was horribly dehydrated but once she started getting her liquids down she got a lot better, she gets sick now and again but that's to be expected. Katherine has really been my inspiration she's done so well, she has lost 86 lbs in 7 months, I asked her if it would be alright if I could put her before and after pics on my blog, and she said I could.

Doesn't she look amazing?










We have the same insurance so she has been a big help to me on what all I should expect. She told me when I go to the doctor on the 7th, the doctor will give me a paper (once she's approved me) and I can take it straight to the Tricare office and then they should have me approved for the surgery in about 2 days or so. She said they got back to her the next day, anyway, once I have the insurance approval I'll go back in and they'll set up my appointment with the surgeon!! I'm so freaking excited!!! well I guess I'll post more on another date. Later!

MADE MY SECOND APPOINTMENT

 Ok so I made my appointment with Doctor Kaula in Heidelberg, the earliest she could see me is September 7th UGH!!! I want all this preliminary stuff out of the way like NOW!! Oh well I know they have to do the screening and all that but it doesn't help when I'm impatient. From what I understand, I'll talk to Dr. Kaula and she will determine if I qualify for the surgery (which I do) and then I'm not sure if she'll set me up an appointment with the surgeon or send a request to my insurance company and they'll set me up the appointment (I have Tricare) they haven't been too forthcoming with the process, Dr. Raumer was more interested in trying to scare me out of having the surgery than in giving me and good useful information, like what the next step after I'm approved is.  OK for anyone who will read my blog EVERYONE has a horror story about gastric bypass everyone has a friend of a friend who had a bad experience or even died, all I can tell you is this is a very serious surgery and you really need to do your research and weigh your pros and cons. I know that people have died having this surgery and I know that their are risks to this procedure and I'll be a patient for the rest of my life because of it, I made this decision based on what I want and I'm willing to take the risks, before you make your decision you have to do your research and make the decision for yourself don't let anyone try to scare you or talk you out of it or into it. Make sure you are fully informed and educated on every aspect of the surgery and know what to expect after surgery, this and I'll scream this from the rooftops, IS NOT AN EASY FIX, it's going to make your life very complicated so if your not sure you can change your life or give up some of the foods you love this surgery is not for you!!  I've done my research and discussed it with friends who've had the surgery done, I've made my pros and cons list, and this is something I want to do for myself. I'M SO EXCITED!!!

me and my husband

me with my kids

my family

ugh!! a bathing suit

dancing with my sister inlaw

just me

Oh I thought I'd add some pics of me in the last 2 years.

DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT

So I went to the doctor yesterday to ask about the gastric bypass surgery and she gave me a referral to the nurse practitioner in Heidelberg. I need to call today to make an appointment. Once I see this nurse and she or he determines that I qualify for the surgery then they will set up the consult with Professor Weiner in Frankfurt. I guess the doctor's here can't do any of that which in my opinion is really stupid, they're doctor's they should be able to give me a referral or determine whether or not I qualify for the surgery!!! The doctor kind of tried to talk me out of the surgery telling me about a "friend of a patient" who died from complications from the surgery and that she was as healthy as I am. I asked her if she had any details on what kind of complications she had, and of course she didn't have any specifics on what the "complications"  were. So I told her "I'm not trying to dismiss  your concerns  but a lot of the time's when ppl die from this surgery and they are relatively healthy ppl it's because they think that this is just an easy way to lose weight, they don't take it seriously and they do things they're not suppose to or don't drink enough or don't take their vitamins. a lot of people don't realize that this is not easy by any means, you have to do everything the doctor tells you and you have to pay attention to your body." she seemed pretty impressed with what I told her she said I was the most informed person to have come to her about having the surgery. I told her when it comes to something that's going to affect the rest of my life I like to be well informed before I make my decision. So I guess I'll call and make my appointment in Heidelberg I probably won't get in to see anyone until the first week of September but we'll see. 

THE BEGINNING

 So this is the first post on my blog! I've decided to get gastric bypass surgery and I'm really excited about my decision. I've been wrestling with the idea for almost 3 year's, I've been doing serious research on it for a little over a year and I've decided the benefits outweigh the risks. I have already been to a nutritionist and went on a diet and exercise program that sort of worked and then I gained the weight back, I've been to a psychiatrist, I've had blood work done to make sure I don't have a thyroid disease or something else that would cause me not to lose weight, and I've had a blood pressure test done. I go to the Doctor on Wednesday the 18th to talk to her about getting the surgery done, she'll set up the consult with the surgeon. I really hope it doesn't take too long I want this surgery done like yesterday lol!! I'm really hoping that it only takes a month but it will probably take 2 to 3 months to get everything in order to have the surgery. I live in Germany at the moment and there are only 2 surgeons here that do the surgery and I'm very confident in Professor Weiner he comes very highly recommended and he also goes to the states to teach the doctor's there how to do the surgery. I think I'll be in great hands.

  I'll be putting some pics up of me and my fat self lol probably in my next post and I'll take some before pics the day before the surgery and I'll post progress pics throughout my journey. right now I weigh 230 lbs. My goal is to weigh 130 lbs. I've always been the fat girl, I haven't weighed under 140 since I was in the 5th grade. I'm really looking forward to seeing the skinnier healthier me!! I'll post again soon.