NERVOUS

So it's the weekend before I go see the doctor and I'm nervous about it because I keep having this dream that the doctor refuses to let me have the surgery. I want this more than anything, I know I qualify for it, and I've taken all the necessary steps. My fears are probably unwarranted but they're still there. I talked to my friend Katherine the other day and told her how I was feeling and she said that she went through the same anxiety and that if she could get approved I would definitely get approved, so that made me feel a little better. I guess I'm just really anxious and ready to get this doctor's appointment out of the way to I can see the surgeon. Katherine has been my lifeline throughout this whole ordeal, she keeps me positive. She had her surgery done by the same surgeon so that also helps, since I'll be having this done in a German hospital she's been giving me information about the experience. I'll be in the hospital for 10 days after the surgery to make sure that my pouch is in good working order, I'm glad they're thorough, and while they are performing the gastric bypass they will also remove my gallbladder, it's very common for people who loose all that weight at once to have gallbladder problems so they go ahead and remove it during the surgery so I won't have to have another surgery to remove my gallbladder later down the road. 
  I've been eating pretty much everything I can get my hands on that I know I'll never be able to eat again lol, which is a little premature since I don't know if I'm approved yet, I guess I'm just doing a little wishful thinking and hopefully I'll be approved, or maybe I'm just trying to fatten up so I'll be more than 100 lbs over weight. I haven't weighed myself in a few weeks because I need batteries for my scale, but the last time I was weighed was at the doctor's office a few weeks ago and I weighed 230 lbs which put's me exactly 100 lbs over weight, I figure if I weigh more than that my chances are a little better. You can say that's stupid logic if you want but I just want to cover my bases I also had elevated blood pressure at my last doctor's visit so I figure I wont do my usually calming down technique before I get my blood pressure taking this time either and I'll have the high blood pressure thing on my side too, which I know I have elevated blood pressure anyway so really I'm not cheating there lol.

I got new glasses the other day so I thought I'd add a pic of me in my glasses, I'll have to get used to them, I haven't worn glasses in over a year.